Let’s set the scene. You’re at work when suddenly a notification pops up.

“August Birthday Celebrations starts in 15 minutes.”

You start to feel kinda excited, right? You know you’re going to get a small break from emails and there will be cake for everyone. So you head to the break room and realize Jason is in charge of cutting the cake.

Jason is great. And talented at many things. But cake cutting isn’t one of them. He starts off with huge pieces full of frosting, and by the middle, he realizes there’s no way what’s left is going to feed everyone, so he starts to give out slices that are barely thicker than printer paper.

It’s a disappointing disaster, and you know it’s going to be the same next month. But do you know how it could all be avoided?

Birthday brownies.

Okay, sure. We might be a little biased. And maybe our solution to 99% of daily struggles involve brownies, but hear us out because this one is actually legitimate.

Here’s why.

1. Birthday brownies come pre-portioned.

Everyone gets the same size treat, no matter who is in charge of handing them out. Just take one and enjoy! No more waiting in line for Jason to slice that cake piece-by-piece.

Plus, our brownies come in a variety of sizes so everyone can take what they’re feeling at the moment. We have bite-size Magic Morsels, snack-size Fairytale Sprites, and indulgent full-size Fairytale Brownies!

2. Brownies require little to no cleanup.

The knife Jason used to cut that birthday cake will probably stay in the break room sink for weeks. Do everyone a favor and avoid kitchen utensils entirely!

Each brownie is individually wrapped. That means no crumbs in the breakroom, no cleanup, and no wasted food. In the unlikely case of leftovers, you can simply store the extras in the fridge for later.

3. There’s a variety of flavors for everyone.

Brownies are also completely customizable to your mood and taste preference. Just order a giant box with enough treats for a crowd, and everyone will be happy.

Everyone gets to pick out their favorite flavor, then add toppings to taste.

All our treats are certified kosher and all-natural. We have nut-free and sugar-free brownies, plus cookies or blondies if you want to offer even more variety.

Seriously, birthday brownies are the dessert for everyone.

4. You can customize the box with your logo.

If you want to customize the birthday brownie box with your company’s logo or a goofy photo of the birthday boy or girl, you can. We have custom logo gifts ready to be printed with an image of your choice and delivered directly to your office.

But why stop there? Birthday brownies are good for more than just office celebrations!

Brownies were made for serving at children’s birthdays, where equal shares are necessary to prevent full-blown toddler meltdowns! You really can’t lose when you pick brownies.

Or bring a birthday gift basket to parties where the guest of honor hates the attention of the Happy Birthday song (why is it so long?) but still wants all the dessert.

Plus, have you seen how incredible a brownie dessert spread can look? You can stack brownies high in an impressive tower or line them up in cute containers. You get to use bowls filled with any topping you like — sprinkles, chocolate, caramel, whipped cream — the list is endless. Guests will be blown away by how you decorate a quality brownie spread.

Speaking of brownie towers, we have those too. A chocolate treat tower gift piled high with brownies, cookies, and blondies is the best birthday present they could ask for.

Basically, what we’re saying is we don’t know why birthday cake would ever be chosen over birthday brownies.

We’re not saying abandon cake altogether. There’s probably still a time and place for cake.

We’re just saying brownies can take birthdays to a whole new level. An upgrade you deserve, if you ask us.